A Broken Heart (3)
Quick Recap part one: My husband, John, was with me in the delivery room when Kate was born. John ran out of the delivery room with the pediatrician. Kate had scored a “2 out of a possible 12” for healthy baby. Within the hour a transport ambulance arrived from CHOP and she was put in intensive care. That night they told me she might not survive the night. Read the full story part one.
Quick Recap part two: The next day my husband, John, arrived to tell me that Katie survived the night and the doctors were cautiously optimistic. He got the news that Katie had a heart defect called “a common AV Valve” which means that she did not have a four chamber heart, but functionally, only a three chamber heart which needed open heart surgery if she was to survive. Read the full story part two.
Part Three: I was a psychological and emotional wreck the day after my delivery. It was impossible to stop crying and my main thoughts were shock, grief, anger, confusion, the natural feelings of guilt were overwhelming. Thoughts about the life of Katie and all the things she would never do just flooded my brain. She might not ever walk or talk. She would never be able to attend regular school. She would not receive a diploma from high school. She would never walk down the aisle with John to get married. She
would not be able to have children and I would not be their grandmother. I am sure I probably had many other thoughts but these were the ones I can remember. Maybe you, reader, also grappled with similar thoughts if you have a baby born with a disability. Maybe you, grandma or relative reader, also had similar thoughts. And where was God in all this? Where was hope?
the inspirational Nick Vujicic. Born without arms or legs, this incredible Australian defied all odds to become a successful motivational speaker. Nick spends his time spreading a message of hope all over the world – it’s a message that 60 Minutes will never forget and I guarantee you won’t either. What timing! What grace! It was exactly what I needed at that precise moment when I needed some hope. I watched him dive into a pool, back to the water, and he did it with style! He walks without legs, he swings a golf club with his mouth, he plays the electric piano with his one foot, he can drive boat, he rides a skateboard, plays a form of tennis with his head, and can type out on a computer and send emails and texts! Do you take your arms and legs for granted? Think again. I was given a new perspective on my current situation and the Lord was humbling me. You’ve got to see this video on you tube because seeing is believing. See video.
At ten o’clock in the morning, after all the poking and prodding of nurses, I was watching TV, unable to eat a thing on my breakfast tray, and this incredible story about a disabled adult came on. The timing can only be attributed to God in his mercy. 60 Minutes aired the story about Nick Vujicic who was born without arms and legs. In 2008, reporter Peter Overton met
Next up chronologically was a touching back rub complete with fragrant lotion from my sister-in-law, Fran, who just happened to be a nurse in the hospital. You have no idea how much that meant to me, Fran, at a moment when I was so in need of a human touch. It spoke volumes and I am actually crying as I am writing this! Can you give me a virtual tissue?
From comfort to another shock, a bereavement social worker sat down in a chair next to my bed. She explained how I had a choice between three options. Option one, put Katie up for adoption because their were childless couples who would happily take her
into their home and never see her again. Option two, put Katie into an institution where she would be for her entire life (of course I could always visit her there whenever I wanted). Option three, take Katie home. Can you believe this? What absurdity, that after nine months of carrying a child, that a parent would choose anything less than take her baby home! Is this what “social workers” recommend to all parents in a similar situation? Was this what society offered as a viable solution? What kind of a world, a godless world, do we live in? Just hide them away? Hiding them is a trip to the past that was common before 1970. Thankfully this is not the only choice anymore.
But wait . . . there are two more things! A family relative called on the phone to congratulate me on the birth of my daughter. I guess the word got around that I had delivered, but the message was not complete. The phone call went like this. With
excitement and joy in her voice, “Hi Michelle. Congratulations on the new baby. I’m sure that you are filled with such joy!” I replied, “Aunt …., I guess you didn’t hear that my baby has Down syndrome.” Having no words to respond, she, “CLICKED the phone on me”. I was dumbfounded.
Here is number two. A friend that I had for one year entered my room to visit. He told the staff that he was my pastor and wanted to pray with me. He was not a pastor! It was a total lie. He could have come in as a friend. Sad to say, he and his wife crossed
me out of their date book and I never saw them again! Both of these reactions were baffling and so painful. Have you ever had similar negative experiences such as these with other people you considered a friend? Incomprehensible!
we consider these parents to be as special as the children they adopt. “We believe there is a family for every child. Every adoption opportunity that becomes available through our agency is sent to our waiting families, including detailed information about the child’s health and family genetic history. It is then up to each family to decide whether a certain adoption opportunity is a good fit for them. If necessary, we will also reach out to our past placed families and other partners through our network to find the right home for every child.” Might this be for you? Learn more about this adoption choice.
FACT: Babies with Down syndrome are adopted by loving families. Are you looking to adopt? Here are some important things you can do. There is an adoption agency called “A Child’s Hope”. For loving and dedicated adoptive parents, special needs adoption can be an incredibly rewarding way to build a family. At “A Child’s Hope”
Michelle White is a public speaker and enjoys visiting parishes, schools, and small groups to give her testimony about life with children who has disabilities. Contact her at 610-468-7112
MYTH: Parents will not find community support in bringing up their child with Down syndrome.
TRUTH: In almost every community of the United States there are parent support groups and other community organizations directly involved in providing services to families of individuals with Down syndrome. You can find a list of groups at http://www.ndss.org/Resources/Local-Support.
NDSS National Down Syndrome Society:
https://ndss.org/myths-truths#myth-most-children-with-down-syndrome-are-born-to-older-parents
Kate & Dad
$20.00
“Kate and Dad” is a black & white print done when Katie was three years old. The image contains all the joy possible with a toddler and her father. Size is suitable for framing in standard frames. Product DOES NOT INCLUDE MAT OR FRAME. Purchase mat separately. Reasonably priced with free shipping to continental USA.
Print comes in one size 5” x 7”. $20